Tuesday, December 27, 2011

A Very Hippo New Year

Sure, you read it right. Hippo, not Happy.

Here is why you should have a very happy Hippo New Year:
  • The male hippo weighs an average of 3300-4000 pounds, with the heaviest recorded at 9900 pounds.
  • The female only weighs 2900-3300 pounds.
  • Hippos are from 11 to 17 feet long, with tiny feet and legs.
  • Hippos almost always live in a river bed, in the mud or with 95% of their body under water.  So, you have big, old, weirdly shaped animal who lives in the mud, and can't do much except eat 150 pounds of grass a day and make babies.
So you think they are simply a dumb, muddy, fat but cute animal.  Boy, are you wrong about hippos.
  • On land they run up to 19 mph, faster than we can.
  • They swim underwater at 5 mph, coming up for air once only every 5 minutes.  We can swim 1/2 that speed, above water!
  • The bulls are very protective of their wives and their children.
So if you see only 5% of something, you have to do research before you form an opinion.  If you see an empty building about to be renovated, find out if it is a project for you.  If a weird customer walks in, listen to the complete job they need done before you say you are not interested.  A geeky guy comes in looking for a job, and before you say, "Are you kidding?", he fixes that computer bug you have had for three months.

Let's start the new year with an open mind on every possible business action.  Don't say "No", before you do the homework.

Lastly, from my family to yours:  Have a healthy, hippo happy, safe and prosperous New Year.

Monday, December 19, 2011

And The Phone Didn't Ring Again

A couple of months back, after the Boston Red Sox lost their manager and general manager, I sent a note to the owners that I was available for either position.

The phone didn't ring.

OK, I lived through it, saddened, but still able to function.  On Sunday night opportunity reared its head again.  I was ready.  I could do it. Here's why:

Kim Jung Il, the exalted leader of North Korea died of a massive heart attack.  Now, most people around the world are OK with this.  But I saw opportunity.  I wrote a note to the People's Congress laying out my credentials to take over North Korea, and my plan to improve the whole country.

First, I told them about my time as a baseball coach, bringing different teams together.  We would battle on the fields, but afterwards, we would still be friends.  This proved my ability to be tough, yet still maintain a friendly leadership role.

Then I told them about my business career.  I managed a company of 250 workers, who spoke many languages, and was able to communicate with all of them.  I described going to Glass Trade Shows, which was kind of like going to a session of the UN.  You want to stand out in the crowd, drawing people to your side.

Then came my master plan.  I would take over North Korea, and manage it like a business.  My prediction is that we would be profitable in two years.  And then, we would do the plan's finale.  General Electric is, to me, the most successful company around.  They take good care of their people, give great medical insurance, and do a superb job of training leaders.

My plan then, was to let GE buy North Korea as a new business unit.  All of the citizens would immediately go on their medical insurance plan, and all would get sick time and two weeks vacation.  Their lives would be immeasurably improved.  GE is a multi-national corporation, so they would have an easy time integrating North Korea into the conglomerate.  The army there would slowly become workers on a world-wide solar and wind energy project.  The nuclear bombs North Korea owns would be used in power plants.

GE would get rich owning its own country, everyone would come out ahead, and as the ruling leader, I would get stock options.  It doesn't get better than this.

Alas, the phone didn't ring this morning, and a twenty-nine year old kid was handed the title "The Great Successor".  I bet he didn't get any stock options.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

How To Get Extra, Profitable Sales Right Now!

You can add dollars to your sales total by selling everyday items around your glass shop as holiday gifts! It doesn't require a penny of investment, just some time and creativity.

First, clean up your showroom. Get rid of all the junk that has been sitting in the corners for a year or two. If you don't remember the job you ordered the samples for, get rid of them. Clean every piece of glass in your showroom. Make your showroom sparkle!

Now, here is what you can sell, and at tidy little profit. Professional grade glass cleaner. You have a couple of cases out back. Put up a simple display, add a sign and you are set. Double your cost of the cleaner...be sure to add your inbound freight.

Glass gloves, the perfect glove for the home mechanic. Many stores sell them as the perfect gardening glove. Glass cutters are also great for the home mechanic section of your display. Put out a couple boxes of razor blades, too. You have a dozen tape measures you just received from CRL. Put these out for sale. Safety glasses, too. You don't have to match the prices at the big box store. These sales are all impulse items and price is not relevant.

Do you have tubes of caulking in back? Now that is a silly question. Of course you do. Put them near your register, they will sell.  Do you have bottles of plastic cleaner?  Sell them.  How about sanding belts?  Sell them as the cloth belt that is better than the paper belts sold at the hardware store. 

Do you have mirror accessories--like mirrored switch plates?  Don't store them in back--put them right up front by the register!  Something as simple as desk buttons will sell for a dime each. 

Cut your cutoff 1/8" mirror into 2" x 2" squares, seam the edges, and sell pocket mirrors for a buck. These are great as stocking stuffers. Some people will place a sticker with their name on the backing. A little advertising doesn't hurt either.

Sell gift certificates for a windshield replacement, or a new mirror, or a table top! You get the cash flow now. It doesn't get better than this for a retailer.

It's easy.  A little creativity and you will make some unexpected sales this year.



Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Holiday Gifts For Your Employees

All right, who are you?
  • Old Man Scrooge
  • A Hard Working Joe
  • Part of the 1/10th of 1
Old man Scrooge wouldn't own a computer.  If your are in the 1/10th, you won't be reading this blog. So, you are a hard working Joe. 

Looking at the calendar, it is time to decide on your holiday gift program for your employees.  Yes, it was a very tough year for most of us.  (In my consulting business, we have one full-time employee, my wife Elaine.  I told her that she was getting a new set of flannel PJ's.  Without the feet.  It was a tough year.)

Your employees know the year you have had.  Nonetheless, they do expect something.  You have given a cash gift for years, and just about everyone counts on the bonus for their holiday budgeting.

If you had a good year, then surely thanking your employees should be high on your list.   Giving a gift to smiling employee is better than giving to an ornery, back-charging customer.  The customer won't change their attitude, while giving to an employee is the perfect investment in your company.

But, and there is always a but, for the 85% of us who didn't have a good year, what do we do?  You need some kind of plan for your gift-giving.  The easy way out, give everyone a week's pay.  This way is simple and won't cause waves.  The more complicated, but in the long-run, much better way, is to set a budget, maybe equal to the one week payroll, and then give more to the people that worked their hearts out, and less to the folks that are out the door at 5:00 on the second.

This takes more work: good employee reviews, solid feedback sessions, and speaking with the grumpy people who get less than the full week.  You will be a hero to some folks, but Scrooge to others.  People will say you gave more to Stan because he supports the Mets, or seriously, some will make claims of prejudice on your part.  You have to decide if the reward and encouragement to the stars on your team are worth the effort. 

For my part, I feel it is worth the effort...provided you have the employee reviews in file.  Recognizing the hard workers is worth it.  They will continue to work hard.  But if everyone gets the same amount, what is the incentive to work hard?  Sure there is self-pride, but at this time of the year, cash is king.

What if the year says your bonuses/gifts have to cut down.  Tell your people ASAP; don't wait for the day you hand out the checks.  Families will need to adjust their budgets.  If you do cut gifts, don't under any circumstances, get a new car for yourself, redecorate your office, or buy new equipment in December, under he guise of spending money before the tax-year ends.  You will never see worse morale if gifts are cut and other spending goes on.